I think gifter colleague is feeling anxious and insecure about her place at work. It’s such a special thing you are doing for them. Whether it gets raised is not fully up to her and I don’t think she should be forced to lie just because some people have objections that aren’t relevant to her particular situation. She isn’t trying to court friendship–she’s trying to force friendship, and the weird gifts are just a means to do so. Those were some hard conversations and confrontations for them to have, but they did understand my point and addressed it with the colleague. Let’s put responses to #5 as replies here so they’re all organized in one place. Oh yes, and everyone who has a place to rent out will have a Zoom tour or lots of photos. Exactly. The movers and cleaners were all good about wearing masks; I drove, and felt pretty good about the hotel where I stayed the night on the road, which was very empty and as far as I could tell was well-cleaned. Don’t remember what happened. Otherwise we would have been two weeks with no internet. (There doesn’t seem to be an adverse effect on the fetus, thankfully). Ideally, you’ll get a mix of people with good qualifications and bonus points, but sometimes you end up with only people who had special points but no substantive job qualifications. We did actually get sick a few days after flying down for the move, but we were fine in 48 hours, it was a mild flu or something because I am still negative for covid antibodies. Nicholes Lentz is a former North Miami Beach police officer who also served with the Marines in Afghanistan and Iraq. It kind of sounded like the OP didn’t want the company to see their resume and think “oh, this application is ridiculous and inappropriate. I had my family help with packing the uhaul since it wasn’t a lot of stuff. For LW #3, Something to think about also is that while you may not meet all the requirements on paper, for some jobs, skills can be more valuable than hard knowledge. I think OP should apply and see what happens. Just a hazard to be careful about hotels. But I think that one would just have to be careful to come down on the right side of the line. However, in all the years I was a carrier (2005 to 2016) I can count maybe 3 times where I was met with a negative response. An email was sent out explaining the situation, at her request, so people knew not to bring it up to her. If you have never had someone give you unwanted gifts or want a more personal relationship than you do then it may be hard to understand how awkward that is. I’m running a global software project later this year and this is going to be our main theme. Maybe something like “please don’t guess my clothing size” or “please don’t comment on people’s bodies” would be a little less intense but still get the point across clearly. Once we got here we ordered as much as possible online but we did have to go to the store for some things. OP I moved from NYC to VT in October. I knew the area I moved to pretty well, so that wasn’t a concern but I think the main logistical challenge was finding housing. My coworker and I recently joked that we should get department mousepads that say “Perfect is the enemy of good” because our boss will frequently delay projects by days trying to get the punctuation or wording just right*. I think that advice only works for the first time. Some things you can’t order easily from the internet because you need to see or feel them. Most other coworkers are on the “just thank her and donate it/throw it out” train, but I think they just got used to her odd behavior. I hope you don’t need to puke on anyone’s shoes! I think the best thing you can do is continue to decline these “gifts” and stay professional (and professionally distant as possible). It also comes in useful when they buy us company swag (we got a totally awesome half-zip for Christmas). And get a grocery delivery hooked up the first day if you can. And then yes, the cover letter! It’s a very awkward situation, and it’s good to know that I’m not strange for thinking so. You are much more at risk in the airport terminal than the airplane itself. Spend money on the move. Then put the condiment of the day out in the fridge or kitchen for everyone. I was able to drive (camping along the way and bringing all my food with me) and pack all my own stuff, so the actual move didn’t feel like much more exposure. The role would be managing the media/marketing side of the job and nothing else, they would like the person to be familiar with the terminology, etc. I negotiated to work remotely with my NYC job for a couple of months to relieve the pressure while I job searched, and I ended up finding and getting a job within a couple of months. Or a defensive explanation. I probably would have been more worried about the process if we’d known then what we do now about the airborne nature of the virus, and I’m concerned about the new variants. One of our partners/customers wanted to do a press release about our project. A lot of folks weren’t wearing masks while I was on the road, but I always was. If you have the top 1-3 skills/experience the employer needs, apply and let the chips fall where they may. I think you can have a surrogacy agreement, but if there’s a dispute then it’s not actually legally binding. If the LW is matter-of-fact about it, so should anyone she knows in a business context be. I found out much later that I landed the role over someone from a completely different (and better aligned) background who had more experience and a much higher technical skill level than I did. In flying, the rules were enforced for you, but distancing just wasn’t always possible when you’re sitting on a plane. This has proven helpful not just for those of us who like to WFH, but really opens up the talent pool. Please consider keeping records for yourself of all your interactions in case you want to report it to HR, and I would consider reporting it. 6. I also have a lot of privilege in that my child was able to go to daycare (the daycare only closed for a week last year, and that was because of the natural disaster, not the pandemic), so I didn’t have nearly the same challenges some coworkers with school-age kids had. 3. #2: I think this depends on where you are and where your clients are. I also moved from PA to WA, but a few months before you did so the weather was nice enough to road trip and camp. I always laughed at this because my coverage had to be better qualified than I was. I was already working full time remote in my previous position, so I was adjusted to that. That was the most nerve wracking part of it, but we had a good real estate agent who took tons of pictures and videos during a socially-distanced, individual appointment visit to the house, and she gave us her expert assessment. I’m in a similar position to OP #5: I got laid off last fall. It may still not work for the job, but I think it would be worth applying. Recruiter calls me to discuss the paperwork and such for the offer. But that may not work because (a) people may try to draw you into further conversation about it, and (b) people may then ask about the babies in a few months and it might be weirder to explain at that point. We both pulled each other’s names for Secret Santa. Dentist, doctor visits, all that jazz, was pretty easy to establish. The employer is remaining completely remote until it is safe to work in person again, and at that point, YK will move closer to where the employer is based in order to be able to come to the office. Blunt doesn’t have to be rude. I was getting good feedback, requesting onboarding/get to know you meetings – and it still felt very slow. I rented both apartments remotely, asked a lot of questions on the phone, and had the property manager send a lot of photos and do video tours. We got drive through food almost the whole way. Thanks to a couple of the older women, I’ve connected to many people through facebook and have actually made friends, though I haven’t met them yet. If you’re headed to an area with substantial transmission, you might want to check the policies of places like the DMV, utility providers, etc. There are positions in my field with NGOs that may be more flexible about hiring someone out-of-state and the federal hiring freeze that accompanied the change in administrations has just lifted, so there are other options out there. #3 Apply for the job! #1 My mom is kind of like this. They think only another expert could understand what they do. He thought it was hilarious. OMG, isn’t that the truth. That stuff (kind of like cheap food?) In that case, it might be better to go with “carrying the babies for another family” (this language is IME strangely more acceptable), or just not mention the surrogacy at all if it’s clients they don’t expect to see often. She needs to see that not only is it disgusting and rude, the items are literally trash to you. Küchenkleingeräte als kleine Helfer im Haushalt. Yeah, some women might feel forced to do it because they need the money. I think everyone else in the office is well aware of her overly friendly routine, so any attempts at badmouthing or sabotaging you may very well fall on deaf ears should she try to go that route. Oh, oh no. is it irresponsible to quit my job without having another one lined up? So, manage your time to focus on your best bets of course, but please don’t hold back on applications for things you’re interested in. All you can really do is keep declining and be clear that if she has food she needs to get rid of, the proper place to donate is a local food bank. I did the same thing. That’s a possibility with multiples. Cringe cringe cringe…. The movers were great, very professional, and we just wore masks the whole time. I did decide to relocate, even with the pandemic, so I said yes. As far as I know surrogacy is legal in the UK (though you cannot be paid anything other than for expenses) but it seems to be a different process from the US. No age was specified. It’s okay for people to feel uncomfortable for a little bit. “I’m just holding these for a friend!”. my coworker thinks it's funny to try to scare me, applying for a job where you don’t meet all the qualifications, https://torontosun.com/news/local-news/pearson-airport-seeing-most-covid-infected-international-flights-data-shows, https://hbr.org/2014/08/why-women-dont-apply-for-jobs-unless-theyre-100-qualified, update: my new team is taunting me because I have a nut allergy, what to do when a low performer asks for a massive raise, my boss called me “disgusting” for not cleaning up my male coworkers’ mess, my ex-friend is my new boss, employer sending rides for us in the snow, and more, weekend open thread – February 20-21, 2021, my boss won’t manage a terrible employee, my coworker scream-yawns, and more, interviewers want to know how I’ve been spending my time out of work … during the pandemic, the hot sauce contest, soup-gate, and other work contests gone awry, board member brings a gun to meetings (but he’s a cop), coworker leaves early every day, and more. But even though there were masking rules….people weren’t great about following them. Do you think there’s a difference between talking about interest vs. passion? I was helped by having family crash pads roughly in the middle. All of these people were hired at some point without the qualifications they now possess because of on the job opportunities or their own persistence in going for more structural knowledge study while on the job because they were directed in that way by an employer or a colleague. Some of them end up getting hired! Probably because it is awkward for minor social niceties to be treated as tit-for-tat obligations. I was beyond curious and really wanted to interview him, but the company recruiter was not inclined to do so…. Someone without a medical license who explains in their cover letter that they’ve always been passionate about cutting people open will not get an interview for a surgeon position…. What about if you found out they accepted your gifts but threw every one in the trash as soon as you weren’t looking? (As an aside, he gave me the best advice on safety I have ever heard: “If you think you’re safe, look around and find out what you’re missing. The advertised role included some of my core skills (maybe 20-30%) but was otherwise heavily focused on skills in a technology that I was very interested in, but only had entry level knowledge of. I used Alison’s advice in my application to make a case for why I was interested, how my experience was relevant, and what I’d hope to accomplish in the role (personally for the learning experience and for the company in potential applications of the technology). Many co-workers are high school graduates with massive amounts of non-degree credited or industry work training, think like having several master’s level certificates or having the equivalent of master’s level vocational degrees. All of the other movers that have moved people in and out here have had a stringent set of rules to follow for safety and I’ve only seen that one group disregard them. She’s trying to be nice, and making people uncomfortable in the process. Should I Confess That I Lied In A Security Clearance Interview Because My Boss And Former Affair Partner Asked Me To? When I cleaned the bathroom after the move, I used gloves. I moved 230 mi at the start of COVID, right when shutdowns started occurring. Trying to guess everyone’s sizes for these matching shirts? I applied for several houses, either listed on facebook or craigslist. Slightly tangential, but I had a job offer in Feb 2020 that would have involved moving to NYC from the midwest sometime during the summer of 2020; academia has a long hiring process. The only PITA was that the grocery delivery service wouldn’t deliver to the hotel address. He returned to CA right before school switched from virtual to in-person, so we were able to meet him there to drive our bus across country as well (it had been stored), and we’ve settled in reasonably well. I told her to stop calling me handsome, and she has. At that point you’d be justified in vomiting on their shoes. I flew to Alabama by myself in April for a quick househunting tour (which was nerve-wracking, though travel was very, VERY quiet then compared to now). They arrived at noon and had everything out within about 45 minutes. I think for the most part it is unlikely that anyone will say anything negative, if you use are a) excited and b) use gift terminology, i.e. I ended up turning to online social groups and have become quiet happy in that aspect. He came and stood at my desk and stared directly at my chest for what seemed like a full two minutes. If I was talking to someone I would never see again, I’d accept their congratulations and not mention anything since there was no relationship. Also, I think some of us do way to much to try to manage other people’s reactions — which we ultimately can’t control! I moved in August – I had been job searching hoping to stay local without luck & eventually expanded to a nationwide search. If they say no, find someone else. ), I was voted part of the “most normal roommate pair” which is a distinction I wore with honor. Explore the parks! “I opposed surrogacy, so I’m going to tell another woman, who is currently bearing someone else’s child as a surrogate, that I think what she’s doing is immoral or otherwise express my personal disapproval. They do not send us to safe places.”). I thought I made it clear the last time that I don’t want any gifts from her, “as a joke” or otherwise. And I heard of one very sad case (from the book The Boundaries of Her Body by Debran Rowland) of a woman who became pregnant as a surrogate mother with a donor egg and donor sperm (NOT from the adopting parents), and then during the pregnancy the adopting couple divorced and didn’t want the baby any more. Why should you have to deal with it instead? It sounds like you have relatable skills for the position. I’m pretty independent so it worked out for me, but I had a friend who cried herself to sleep every night for a month. Nationwide search little strange, but as a single lesbian who conceived using a donor to to. If appropriate ) in our case the delivery was free, but you can be a wtf situation if is., 2021 at 9:09 am to call different rental companies and was completely contactless, which was weird have to. Fishing for gratitude out of there are Zoom anyone wanted them, and the men are not two parties to! 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